


The Kitchen

by MarianaReads



Category: Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 12:39:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1186300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarianaReads/pseuds/MarianaReads
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A "what if" scenario from FanGirl. The story opens immediately after Cath sees Levi kissing the girl in the kitchen... but this time, he notices that Cath is standing there. {This story will evolve over several chapters!} *None of these characters are mine!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this story to FanFiction.net - if you are interested in seeing it there, my user name is MarianaReads!

Levi looked up, over the blonde, and his eyes immediately locked with Cath's. She watched him mouth, "Oh, sh..," as he wrapped his long fingers around the upper arms of the girl in front of him and pushed her away. Cath didn't wait to see if he was following her, she was already half way out the door. She kept her eyes fixed on the ground and refused to give up speed. The people at the party either moved out of her way or got pushed aside. Cath heard a few cries of surprise but she didn't care - she had to get out of there. She couldn't breathe.

"Cath! Cath, wait up! Jesus Christ, Cather!" Reagan yelled, and finally wrapped her hand around Cath's arm and jerked her back. "Cath, slow down."

"Reagan, no. I have to get out of here," Cath spat out. She began bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet - she was panicking. The room began to spin and Cath could feel the prickling behind her eyes start. If she didn't make it out of the party, now, she was going to lose it.

"Yes, I know but you're not going the right way. My car is over here," Reagan said in a soft voice, almost a murmur. Cath looked up at her roommate with surprise. Reagan wasn't typically so calm and... soothing. Cath knew that she must have looked bad. Either that, or what she had just witnessed in the kitchen was bad. Cath sniffed loudly and nodded, quickly slapping at the tears that were accumulating under her eyes. Reagan dropped her hand and circled her fingers around Cath's wrist and slowly, but firmly, started leading her out of the house.

The girls had finally reached Reagan's car when a quick shout of, "Cath! Wait!" rang out behind them. Cath immediately froze at Reagan's car, her hand wrapped around the door handle. She felt a hand on the small of her back and her spine stiffened.

"Get in and I will take care of this," Reagan said, slowly pushing Cath closer to the car. The sound of approaching footsteps got louder and Cath snapped out of it. She whipped open the door and slid in, training her focus on her folded hands in her lap. Outside, she could hear Levi and Reagan speaking. Reagan's stilted voice sounded irritated and Levi's sounded... indignant? No, he sounded perplexed. Like he had no idea what was wrong or why Reagan was pissed. Or... why Cath had taken off like a bat out of hell. If Levi was confused, then he didn't understand and... Cath groaned to herself. She was such an idiot.

Reagan slammed the door as she jammed the key into the ignition and the sound made Cath wince. Reagan was muttering under her breath and the only words the Cath could hear were, "Shit. Bad. Knew it. Fuck."

"Reagan, I -" Cath started.

"No. We're not doing this. What happened back there was shitty, and I know that. Listen to me, Cather. Levi is my friend, my best friend-"

"Please, Reagan. You don't have to do this. I know that you two are friends and I know that I was an idiot for even kissing him," Cath stuttered on that last part. She licked her lips and moved her stare to Reagan's face. Her roommate was staring at her like she was approaching a child on the verge of a temper tantrum. That look turned Cath's sadness into anger. "But I'm fine," she spat, through gritted teeth. "As far as I'm concerned, it didn't happen. Nothing happened, okay? Just please... just... keep him away from me? I just can't... I'll just stay in the library, or hang out in the cafeteria." Just.

"No need to go incognito, spaz. Levi's my best friend, but you're my friend too. I'll keep him away but he's going to ask what happened back there. What am I supposed to do with that?" Reagan turned her attention on to the road and eased out of her spot on the street. Cath glanced at the side view mirror and started when she saw Levi. He was staring at the car, at them, with confused look on his face. Her ran his fingers through his hair and turned back towards the house. Cath clenched her teeth.

"Don't tell him anything. It never happened."

Reagan nodded and turned onto campus.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six days after the Party, Cath and Levi have their first encounter.

Cath yawned and stretched her arms over her head, causing a series of pops to sound down the length of her neck. She settled back down into her bed and blinked at the clock on her laptop. 2:30 pm. She had spent a solid three hours writing and had not noticed the time slipping by. But it was good. Cath needed to get back into the swing of Simon and Baz. There had been too many distractions in her life lately and besides, the eighth book was only months away.

A sudden, sharp knock at the door made Cath jump violently and clutch at her laptop as it started to fly off of her lap. Heart racing, she stared at the door, willing whoever it was to go away... Whoever. Levi?

"Cather? Hey, uh, it's me - Levi, that is. Can I come in?"

Cath sucked a sharp breath in and squeezed her eyes shut. Damn, damn, damn!

"Uh, Cath? I know you're in there... I heard you typing."

Cath stared down at her laptop, the bloody betrayer, and silently cursed at herself for... for what? For typing so loud? She sighed and cleared her throat. "Oh, hey. Uh, Reagan isn't here," she called across her tiny room. A shuffling noise sounded out the door and Cath imagined Levi leaning against the door. Always leaning.

"Yeah, she's at work. I actually wanted to talk to you." Cath sighed and set her laptop on her desk. She pushed her glasses up into her hair and rubbed her hands over her face. It had been six excruciating days since the Party and so far, Cath had managed to avoid Levi. Of course, most of the credit was due to Reagan. Their study parties had inexplicably been moved - to other friend's houses, to Levi's house... Cath had spent the six days sneaking around campus. She'd stare out of her dorm room's peep hole for ten minutes, straining her eyes to make sure he wasn't sitting outside of their door. Cath raced across campus, jumping out of her skin every time a lanky blonde came in to her view. She stood, resolved to be cool, and quickly glanced in the mirror. She immediately regretted it. Cath looked like she hadn't showered in a few days and was emerging from a Simon/Baz fanfiction binge. Well, if the shoe fits, right?

She crossed the room, squared her shoulders, and opened the door. But no amount of self pep talking and resolve could have prepared her for Levi. The moment she opened the door, his signature grin broke across his face, sending wrinkles up for miles across his forehead. Cath hardened her look and closed the door back up, so Levi could see only a fraction of her face.

"Cath! You're alive! Hey, I haven't seen you lately. I waited for you on Tuesday at the library, but you weren't there. Did that guy finally walk you home?" Levi kept grinning at her, expectantly. Cath could almost carry on her charade and pretend that nothing happened. Almost.

"No, he didn't. Uh, what's up, Levi? I'm kind of busy."

"Simon and Baz are at it again? You could read to me, you know. Try out the story," he offered, positioning himself towards the door. Cath closed the door even further. Give Levi an inch, and he'd take a mile. And now he was offering to beta read for her?

"No, that's okay. Thanks, though. Do you mind waiting for Reagan at your place? I'm just-" Just. "I'm in the middle of something and I'm not really feeling all that great," Cath coughed weakly. Levi's grin vanished and he studied Cath's face.

"Is everything okay? Cath?" Levi reached out to open the door, and Cath leaped back as though he shocked her. At her reaction, his face fell. "I know something's been up. Reagan's been acting weird when I bring you up and I haven't seen you in days. Is-"

Cath forced a small smile and willed herself to glance up at Levi. She almost couldn't take the intensity of his gaze - almost. "No, I'm good. We're good. It's all good." Did that sound as lame as she thought? Yes, probably. Definitely yes. "But did you need something? I am busy..." Levi frowned and shuffled his feet, standing back up from his perch against the door frame.

"No... I just... No, it's okay," he smiled but it wasn't a 1000 watt Levi smile. "Well, if you finish whatever you're doing, text me okay? If you need anything." Cath nodded and shut the door. She glanced through the peep hole and watched Levi stare at the closed door. Finally, after a few minutes, he shoved his hands deep into his pockets and left.

Cath collapsed on her bed and cried.


	3. Chapter Three

Cath stared up at the fluorescent ceiling. Everything in the hospital seemed to exude that light – the walls, the floors… She thought that her skin looked purple. Next to her, Levi was bouncing his knee up and down and she could tell that he kept glancing at her.

“Hey, I appreciate you giving me a ride,” she said and Levi turned his full attention to her.

“I told you to call me whenever you needed anything, Cather.” Cath nodded and looked down at her hands. Purple.

“Right. But, you don’t have to stay. Things don’t really move quickly around here.” She heard Levi shuffle and imagined that he shrugged his shoulders. She wouldn’t know – she refused to look at him. “Actually, you should probably leave now. Before it gets too late and snow and whatever.”

“I don’t mind. Besides, this gives us time to catch up.” At that, Cath looked over at Levi. He was grinning at her, which made Cath’s throat tighten. She shook her head and looked around the waiting room. “Hey,” he said softly, and poked her in the arm. “I know that you’re upset with me. But you can’t blame me… you’ve been doing a great job of avoiding me.”

“I haven’t been avoiding you.”

Levi chuckled. “Yeah, _okay._ Reagan told me, you know.” Cath looked over at Levi. He raised his eyebrows smugly and Cath felt heat creeping up into her cheeks.

“She _told_ you?!”

“She told me that you didn’t want to see me. Don’t go blaming her, Cather. I have trouble reading, but I’m not stupid. Why don’t you tell me what’s been going on?”

Cath squeezed her eyes shut and pushed her glasses to the top of her head. _This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening_ , she chanted silently.

“I’m just stressed out, Levi. School is crazy, I _need_ to finish _Carry On, Simon_ … Life just caught up with me.” _Oh, and you totally made out with another girl – right in front of me!!!_ “I don’t know what Reagan told you but we’re totally okay, okay?”

“So this has nothing to do with what happened at my party?” Levi asked. Cath looked over at him again. He was staring down at his shoes, and messing with his jacket zipper. Avoiding her.

“Your… party?” Cath asked, making a pathetic attempt at sounding completely nonchalant.

“C’mon, Cather. I know that you freaked when you saw me in the kitchen. I just want to clear the air and go back to normal. I wanted you to know that it wasn’t a big deal. It was just a kiss,” Levi said, still staring down at his shoes.

Cath sucked in air through her teeth. “ _Just_ a kiss? Which one was _just_ a kiss to you?” Cath spat out her words and stared at Levi in disbelief. She didn’t even try to keep the venom out of her voice.

“I mean, it’s not a big deal, okay? I just want to be friends again.” With that, Levi knocked his knee against hers. Cath jumped.

“That may be easy for you to say, but it was a big deal to me, Levi. The _biggest_. And I think it’s great that you can go around kissing random girls whenever you want but maybe you should think twice about whether it’s a big deal to the girl you’re kissing, okay?!” Cath jumped up and began pacing the length of the waiting room. Thankfully, there were no other witnesses to her tantrum.

“Hey, now. I don’t go around kissing random girls,” he responded, sounding mildly offended. “And you never told me that you would be coming over.”

“Would that have made a difference?!” Cath was practically screeching now. “You know what? I don’t want to know. I don’t _care_ anymore.” She turned her back to Levi and willed herself to calm down. “Can you just go, please?” Cath heard Levi stand, and flinched when he set a hand on her arm.

“Cather,” he said softly. His voice sounded so close to her and she could feel his breath tickling her neck. Cath shook her head and stepped away from him. Levi sighed. “Cath, c’mon…”

“No, Levi. Please just _go._ ” She turned to face him, hoping that he wouldn’t be able to guess how close to crying she was. “Actually, you know what? _I’ll_ go. Thanks for the ride, Levi. Have a nice break.” With that, Cath pushed herself through the doors of the waiting room, and walked blindly until she found a restroom.

Twenty minutes later, when she returned, Levi was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

The door crashed open, and Reagan spilled in. "So, are you going to get over this whole hermit thing and come get food with me? I'm starving." Reagan began peeling her shirt off, revealing a magenta bra underneath, and glanced over at Cath. Cath didn't look up from her laptop, and her fingers barely slowed down. If she typed any harder, she was going to dole out some serious damage to her computer. Reagan sighed and balled up her shirt, throwing it at Cath's head.

"Mmm, not now. No hunger. Busy," Cath said. Reagan narrowed her eyes.

"When was the last time you left the room? More importantly, when did you last  _eat_?"

Cath gestured vaguely to the small pile of protein bars on her desk, and peeled her eyes away from the screen. "Uh, I'm fine. And yes, I've left the room… I went to class," Cath replied, rolling her eyes. "I'm in the middle of a  _huge_  scene… and you're distracting me."

"Yeah, yeah. Simon reveals that he's madly in love with Baz and they make wild, passionate love. Sounds ground breaking," Reagan shot back. She pulled a black sweater over her head and turned to look at her roommate. "You're seriously not going to come with me?"

"Nope. I'm going to stay right here, with the two loves of my life, and we're going to have a grand ole time." Cath smirked at Reagan and pushed her ear buds into her ears. Reagan rolled her eyes at Cath and mouthed, "Whatever," before sauntering out the door. Cath turned her attention back to her story, and got lost in  _Simon_ …

So, when her ear buds were tugged out of her ears, Cath let out a blood curdling scream.

"Whoa! Cather, calm down!" Levi said. He sounded way too amused for the situation at hand.

"Jesus  _Christ_ , Levi! Didn't anyone ever teach you to knock?! This is basically breaking and entering!" Cath shouted. She slapped a hand over her chest, willing her heart to stop beating so fast. At this rate, she was going to drop dead from a heart attack.

"Well, I did knock… about ten times," Levi said, dropping onto Reagan's bed.

"And the closed door didn't tip you off that I didn't want to be disturbed?"

"Your door wasn't closed, actually. So I knocked… and then I called your name twenty times… and I watched you type for a bit. Then I realized how creepy I was being and decided to take matters into my own hands and, well…" he lifted his hands as if to ask,  _what was I supposed to do_?

Cath sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Levi, I'm really not trying to be a bitch… but given our last conversation… what makes you think that I want to talk to you at all?"

"Like I said, I'm taking matters into my own hands," he responded, sitting up. He fixed his gaze on Cath and she could tell that a grin was tugging at the side of his lips. She frowned slightly and raised her eyebrows at him, inviting him to continue.

"See? You're not kicking me out. It's a good sign!"

"Again, I repeat – what makes you think that I want to speak to you at all? I think I made my feelings pretty clear at the hospital-"

Levi waved his hand in the air, as if he were dismissing what Cath just said. "I'm choosing to attribute that to the stress of the situation that we found ourselves in."

Cath glared at him, but he met her stare unflinchingly. "Attribute  _that_ to the fact that you were a serious jackass."

Levi flinched, and his face grew serious. "I deserve that. Okay, all jokes aside-"

"Finally," Cath muttered.

"Cather, you're right. I was a jackass. And I'm sorry… I'm really,  _really_  sorry," Levi pulled himself to the edge of Reagan's bed and leaned towards her. Despite the fact that he was across the room, Cath scooted back, putting as much distance between them as she could. His proximity was making her sweat.

"Can we not? I get it. You're sorry. Whatever," Cath pushed her glasses to the top of her head. "I'd rather pretend that the entire thing never happened… Okay? We're good."

Levi narrowed his eyes at her. "Cather, I don't think you really understand my meaning here."

"Believe me, Levi – I understand it. And  _God,_  yes, you're forgiven if you promise to stop blowing up my phone."

"So, you have been getting my texts!"

Cath rolled her eyes again and pushed her laptop onto her bed. "Listen, I'll try. But…" she licked her lips and felt the heat creep up her neck and into her cheeks. "This isn't easy for me. You, uh, you kind of hurt me, okay? And as mortifying as that is for me to admit, it's true." Cath sighed and glanced over at Levi. He was staring at her intently, but at the mention of  _hurt_  he fixed his eyes on his hands. He started running his thumb over his palm.

"I can't pretend that it never happened," Levi murmured. Cath opened her mouth to respond but found herself at a sudden loss for words. Levi ran his hands through his hair before looking at her. "Cather, I like you. And I don't mean as a friend. I  _like_ you. And I can't explain to you or to myself or to anyone else why I kissed that girl, but I did."

Cath winced. "You have to know why, Levi… You don't just  _kiss_  people like that," she said weakly.

"No excuse that I give you will sound good enough and honestly Cather, you're too good for excuses. But I messed up, big time. After I left the hospital, I must have started to turn back twenty times. I just…" Levi ran his hands through his hair, causing it to stand straight up before flopping back over his forehead. "I couldn't figure out where your head was at. I was convinced that you… and then you never texted me back about coming to the party. And then  _she_  was there, in front of me… and…" Levi looked at Cath with pleading eyes.

Cath narrowed her eyes. "You made out with someone because I didn't text you back? Nice, Levi. That's just great." She pushed herself to the edge of her bed and stood. Levi sighed.

"Come on, Cath. Give me a break here." Levi stood and walked to her. He stared down at her and Cath squirmed.

"You don't  _need_  a break, Levi. It's not like you cheated on me," Cath's voice broke when she said  _cheated_. Because that's exactly how it felt. Levi frowned and grabbed her hand with this. Cath began to pull away but he held fast.

"Cather," Levi seemed to breathe her name and she looked up at him. "I'm asking for a second chance here. I'm not above begging if that's what it comes to." Levi pulled her hand up in between them, and uncurled her fingers so that her open palm was facing up. He ran his thumb softly over her exposed skin and searched her face. Cath sucked in a shaky breath. "I will make this worth your time.  _I_  will be worthy of your time. I just need you to say okay."

Cath squeezed her eyes shut.

"Cather?" Levi's voice was barely above a whisper.

She nodded her head.

Levi pulled her palm to his lips and kissed it softly.


	5. Chapter 5

"Keep going, sweetheart." Levi breathed onto the back of Cath's neck and placed a series of soft kisses from the base of her neck to her shoulder blade. Cath's eyelids fluttered closed and she sighed.

"You expect me to read  _fan-fiction_ while you're doing that to me?" Cath leaned back into Levi's chest and snuggled into him. His long arms wrapped around her waist and he pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

"We're almost there. We can't stop now. Besides, Baz  _needs_ to know that Simon loves him."

"Baz  _already_  knows that Simon loves him. You on the other hand…"

Levi snorted. "You know that I love you, Cather."

"If that's true, remind me again - why are you asking me to come to Arnold this summer?" Cath twisted her neck to catch a glimpse of Levi's face. He rolled his eyes at her.

"That I love you is precisely why you're coming to Arnold with me. Besides, I've been through the family wringer before. Wren still scares me."

"I've got  _one_  sister… You have  _four_! And a Melisse…" Cath shuddered and Levi chuckled into her hair.

"Reagan got the brunt of my mother's wrath. Besides, she'll love you. They'll all love you."

"And you're so sure of that," Cath nearly whined.

"I am. Because I  _love_ you. And besides, Wren is scary," Levi said.

Cath smiled to herself. She turned her attention back to her computer and cleared her throat. The last chapter of  _Carry On, Simon_ blinked before her.

"You're sure that you're ready for this, Levi? Shit goes down for Simon and Baz."

Levi smiled against Cath's hair. "Take us away, sweetheart."


End file.
